Yay... the website I've been working on all week is finally live.
This is for a new film, called Banksy's Coming For Dinner. The publicity (and controversy, oh yes!) will hit the press this weekend. It's the new Banksy movie by Ivan Massow. BOOM!

Tell me what you think - believe it or not, this is actually one of the only worksafe sites I've ever made!
My mum nearly shit biscuits with glee when I told her I'd made a site for a film that isn't one of 'THOSE' films... she actually said she was proud of me. That meant rather a lot to me - it's horrible not being able to show my own mum what I do.

So I'm using the money from that freelance gig to buy a kickass powerful PC, which is going to be my Freelance Machine - because I just want to create more things I can show my mum. Yeah. I know. Sad, isn't it. The slightly bleak side of working in the adult industry, that is.

So anyway, check it out - Banksys Coming For Dinner. I know it's Friday night and I'm the only one who isn't out partying (because I've been up till 4am every night working on this, post-dayjob), but I'd like to get some feedback on what you all think!

Now to pass out in the bed with the Mr and the Miss - at last, a proper night's sleep! Luxury! :-)

Web people: what's your favourite forum software?

We might be creating a more community style space within the members area of my site.
I'd like something which will let people upload their own pictures to their posts too.

Invision Power looks quite good, as does vBulletin - but are there any others that you swear by, either as a user or as a webmaster?

Does the English language have a word for an 'idea' that isn't actually one?

eg: Here's this for an idea. Build a car that runs on water and costs £1000 to make. Then sell them for £2000. You'll make a fortune!

ETA: I think the word 'undea' should be made official for this concept!

My colleague Eric and I went to this event at Kemistry Gallery at lunchtime today. (That's him in the pic, being written about.)

First Impressions Last - a playful look at identity, anonymity, and naturally, first impressions. Visitors are invited into the gallery to stand before 5 writers, seated in the room, and become the subject of a two-minute free writing session. A polaroid is then taken of the subject, which is kept with the writers’ vignettes.
Then, as part two of the exhibit, for the month of November participants and visitors will be challenged to match the portraits with their first impression stories.

It was really interesting - you stand before them, feeling very exposed as the writers all loudly clack away on their typewriters - the only noise in the room. Someone who looks like me is obviously going to be used to people having a reaction to the way I present myself... but Eric, who looks very 'normal', aparently felt pretty self conscious.

Yay for working near Hoxton! Can't wait to see what they wrote...

I'm drawing portraits here tonight, and I'm actually pretty nervous. Hadn't really drawn for years till a fortnight ago, and am now gonna be doing it live! No room for mistakes, etc. Haha. Hopefully all my years of classical training will come flooding back? (aaaaargh!)

The 10 and 15 min drawings from 2 weeks ago, at a bondage lifedrawing class (if there's anything likely to kickstart me back into art, it's that!):



Anyway - I've invited some of you on facebook, but those who aren't on there - please, please do come down. It's a small alternative art gallery, only 3 months old, run by two amazing friends of mine - and I will love each and every last one of you that shows up to this to support us.

The Anti-Frieze Art Fair closing party.

An evening of avant garde music, art, performance & film at un-extortionate prices.

Featuring...

Short films by the Limehouse Cutthroat- including the LFW PPQ film.

New Art by 'Deborah Griffin',' Lee Bake'r and 'Monk 513'. And an appearance from performance artist 'Vanderhorne', plus a few other surprises.

Sketch artist, 'Aaron Jacob', will be drawing throughout the evening and you can become his model & take his interpretation of you home!

With music supplied by local east London DJ 'Miss Vinci' and a live band to be announced.

All this and some more tricks up our sleeves this Sunday!

7pm - Late.

Five pounds door donation.

Resistance Gallery,
265 Poyser St, Bethnal Green

So I did the Berlin Inline Marathon the other week! 26 miles of nonstop speedy skating joy.
God damn, it was amazing.

About 8000 skaters altogether, most of them on proper professional speed skates (the ones with small boot bits and huge wheels) and dressed in head to toe lycra, with cycling helmets on. I had been pretty intimidated by this at first, as I was of course in my sexyass Hypnos (although with the chassis modified to fit 84mm wheels instead of 80mm) and just wearing baggy shorts and an army style camo skating helmet.



So anyway, off we went... the first few miles were really hectic because it was still hella crowded with skaters all jostling for position.
If you haven't been in many big group skates before, all this is bloody terrifying because you have to spend the entire time making sure your blades aren't about to get caught in someone elses, resulting in a big painful fall at speed and probably taking out several other people too! Luckily I'm very experienced in fast, cramped group skating from the Friday Night Skate - so I know how and when to keep my feet straight and narrow and keep my speed up. Some others weren't so lucky, and I saw a few falls, including one right in front of me who I had to pretty much jump over to avoid swerving into someone else's path. Also, one woman lost control around the first tight corner, and grabbed at me, which would have sent me flying if I didn't have decent balance.

Anyway, having got out of the thick of it and overtaken all the slower ones, I just remember really, really enjoying myself. It's such a unique and beautiful experience for someone like me who skates 10 miles a day on the crowded, car packed, smelly, badly maintained, bumpy, dangerous London streets. These Berlin roads are literally flawless - smooth as silk, massively wide, only the gentlest hills* here and there, and lined with spectators most of the way around, which made it even more fun. Little kids were by the edge of the road, holding out their hands in excitement, wanting a skater to give them a high five as they went past. I got a few, it was so cute.

The only problem was, I had no watch, and there was no way of knowing how far along the course I was. I never really gave it my all because I didn't have any concept of how far 26 miles really was on a course this sexy, with not one traffic light or reason to slow down. I was just gliding along beautifully fast, loving the experience of the total skating freedom.
I ate some energy gel packs. Then I wished I'd brought more water along, because there were only 3 water points, and I'd just missed a drink due to the water being handed out in flimsy plastic cups which just crumpled into my skating glove palm on delivery at 15mph and ending up all over my hand instead of in my mouth.



And then suddenly I saw a marker saying 30km and for a second (like an idiot) I thought it meant 30km left to go, before realising I was actually 3/4 of the way round the course! I'd been thinking I was more like halfway round, that's how fast it was.
And then I hammered it, realising I had heaps of energy left due to thinking I had longer left than I did! I just sprinted and sprinted, overtaking group after group of skaters up ahead, teams in matching shirts, even some semi-pro paceline packs of people drafting one another**.

The last km or so was amazing. Just incredible. The streets were lined with crowds, yelling and cheering, there was a band somewhere near the end, playing one of those awesome drumming beats which just spur you on and give you this massive sporting rush, and the nearer I got to the end, the faster I went, the more people I overtook. When the Brandenburg Gate loomed into view, the adrenaline and competitiveness just overtook me and I was flying. I have a vague memory of the announcer saying something in German as I went past (and what a sight I must have been, all in black with an army helmet and little fitness skates, manically overtaking all these freaks in fluoro lycra with 100mm wheels) and the crowd making a kinda laughing cheer.

Coming through the gate and over the finish line almost brought me to tears. I have no idea why it felt so emotional - there was my obvious tiredness, the adrenaline, the beautiful landmark that was the end of the race. I've not done anything this sporty and public before, not since I used to ride my horses in shows back when I was a teenager. I loved it, skating is something I'm passionate about, and this was just the ultimate skating experience.

Then I just kind of rolled forward with the other skaters, got handed a medal, got handed a yellow bin liner to keep me warm, then came past a series of tables offering us various liquid refreshments, which I downed in a daze while rolling to the next table. First water, then energy drinks, then juice, then Red Bull, then warm tea, then finally, at the end of the path, a little bar giving out free beer. Wonderful stuff. There was also a big field full of little beds (so surreal) where you could go to get a massage off a massage school student (which I took advantage of, although it was rather mediocre!)




Finally I found Andi, who I've never seen look so happy to see me (he was almost crying!) and we wandered back to our apartment, stopping on the way for me to literally inhale a large crepe.

My finishing time was 1hr 45min, which I was thrilled with - it meant I'd been going at least 15mph all the way around. I came 213th in my age group (25 to 30 I guess)

It's just such a shame there's nothing like this in London though. There's a big track on the outskirts of London on which you can technically do a marathon, but I find the idea really soul destroying - skating round a track for x number of laps with my amazing memories of what Berlin was like. I suppose it would be ok if I just considered it training... but at the end of the day I'm just crazy about street skating, with all the adventures that entails.

The rest of the (short) Berlin trip was great - I guess it mostly revolved around food, sleep, massages from Andi, and visiting the Jewish Museum. But I'm totally doing the marathon again next year - probably in my new speed skates which I need to get training in this year in order to be prepared to try and do it in 1:30...

Oh - you can see the rest of my Berlin photos here (public FB gallery)...


* Hilariously, I was talking about the course with a German guy at the fitness expo the day before. He's like, "Oh, eees very smooth most of the way. There is only one or two little mountains..." which caused me to snort as I tried to hold in a massive wave of laughter.

** This is how all pro skating teams operate by the way, skating in sync with no wind resistance - and even non pros do it a lot in marathons, just finding people their speed and latching onto the back of them, matching their stride. I tried it several times in the race and kept getting impatient and overtaking. For some reason, having someone directly in front of me makes me feel like I'm skating slower than I would if they weren't there, and it spurred me on to speed up and leave them behind.

So I guess it's happening then. I'm going to Berlin tomorrow morning to skate a marathon. 26 miles flat out - and it's an actual race which has to be completed in under 2 and a half hours or you get taken off and shot

This is my first marathon and although I've toyed with the idea of buying big sexy speed skates, I've decided to do it in my Hypnos. I skate 10 miles a day to work and back on those and my life lifestyle practically revolves around them. I'm like one of those fixie bike kids but with my Hypnos. I'll race a marathon in them just to say I have. And then I'll buy a pair of 100mm speed skates and attempt to find somewhere in London to reach 30mph without killing myself.

So yes, I leave tomorrow morning and race on Saturday. Wish me luck and all that.

2.30am and I haven't packed, of course. Obviously though, since getting home from work, I have managed to rearrange my sock and pants drawer, drink some rum, trim my beard and update my iphone applications. Those things are certainly more useful and time sensitive than mere packing.

For the foreseeable future, the best way to get hold of me is silveraj [at] gmail.com

I'm not checking my silvercyber one or strictlybroadband addys more than a couple of times a week...

Andi on the phone discussing irritable bowel syndrome:


"Yeah, I heard from a friend that IBS means you can't have anal sex...

*pause*

...personally I think they're just trying to get out of it."

Anyone who knows me at all, even a little bit, will know I have had a police fetish since, well, forever. More about that another time.

Now I work in the City, my office is regularly surrounded by police for various reasons. I was a very happy boy when I skated past all this, earlier on.
Kind of hoped I'd be sternly told off for taking photos of their bums (haha, cheap thrills!) - but ended up just having a friendly chat with one of them when he saw I worked here.

A guy I work with suggested that next time I should hide dog treats in my pockets, and then act all dodgy when the police dogs go to sniff me. I just want to be manhandled to the ground, handcuffed and forcibly searched - is that so wrong?
( Anyone else have a thing for cops? )

P.S. Did I mention recently how I have the best job ever?