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Oh yes, that's very sexy.

Here at Porn Central, we recently launched a UK adult industry news and reviews site, which we've been asking pornstars and producers to write content for.

One of the sections that's still pretty empty is Erotic Stories, but today I got our first submission. It begins:

"Bill’s eyes glowed like two currants in a bun."


I have no words.


( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 20th, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
pastry porn.


I can put my fist in my mouth too ;)
Mar. 20th, 2007 04:56 pm (UTC)
Mar. 20th, 2007 05:04 pm (UTC)
I can't really check the link from work, but do the erotic stories have to come from producers etc, or is it an open field (and do you pay)?

Mar. 20th, 2007 05:20 pm (UTC)
Hey Alice...

I'm not sure exactly how much we pay, but if you wanted to be a regular contributor, like a featured female erotic writer, I'm sure we could work something out. It's certainly not closed to producers.

I know what you'd write would be of a much higher standard than the tripe this guy's sent (which we don't pay for!), but we're not really sure yet how marketable the whole story thing will be, so we'll play it by ear.

Do you have something you've already done, that we could try out as a sample?

If you fancied writing some kind of sex or porn column, on any sexy or kinky subject you like (check the site when you get home, for ideas) we'd definitely pay for that :)
Mar. 23rd, 2007 03:17 am (UTC)
I'd love to write about my profession. I could get a column and ten halfs out of that one. Think your bosses would be interested?
Mar. 23rd, 2007 07:38 am (UTC)
I haven't seen much of your writing before, but if you're good, I'd love to have you on board - we already have a stripper, and pornstars in the pipeline, so it'd be great!

Whether we publish/accept or not is soley up to me, and I can recommmend to the boss which ones get paid. It'd be between £15 and £40 I think.

If you could write something for us, make it sexy or funny or just engaging in some way, and if I think it's hot, I'll atttempt to grab you some ££.

Thanks M!
Mar. 20th, 2007 05:09 pm (UTC)
That's you FAVOURITE porn, that is. You wank off to that, you do. You keep that under matress in case of emergencies ;P
Mar. 20th, 2007 05:21 pm (UTC)

Oh honey, should I tell Aj what you keep 'in case of emergencies'?

Mar. 20th, 2007 05:26 pm (UTC)
This is the bit that made me come...
I sat there talking to her. “And you want to get into blue films? I questioned.


"Why have you seen any?"

"No I’ve not but I’ve read about them in the News of the World."

As I looked at her taking in her tight red skirt and top, my penis started to erect."
Mar. 20th, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
Re: This is the bit that made me come...
Wow. My penis just started to erect.
Mar. 20th, 2007 05:25 pm (UTC)
mmmmmmmm currants
was the pastry theme present throughout the whole story?
Mar. 20th, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
if not I'm sure you can find some type of pastry porn out there.
*raids the $5 bin at her nearest porn store*
Mar. 20th, 2007 11:32 pm (UTC)
hell, I should make my own
Mar. 20th, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
That's some fucked-up currant bun.

Mar. 20th, 2007 09:28 pm (UTC)
You know. I've decided we could probably make a book from all the crazy on the forums, and I reckon you shoudl too :)
Mar. 20th, 2007 09:37 pm (UTC)
Now now, could have been bulbous like the date in a bun.
Mar. 20th, 2007 10:20 pm (UTC)
that has made my bloody day!
Mar. 20th, 2007 11:19 pm (UTC)
I like it but not very porn-esque?
Mar. 21st, 2007 06:05 am (UTC)
i thought i was the only person to use wording like that?! ^_~

nice one XD
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )